Written by Darcel Osei
As I coach, I have had numerous clients reveal to me, and sometimes to themselves, the incredible lives that they want to be living. Lives that are making an impact by serving others, lives that enable them to take care of family and loved ones, while giving them financial freedom and time to enjoy it. Then when I ask them why they think they don’t have all of this, the most common response is fear. Fear that they will fail, fear of rejection, fear that they don’t know enough, fear that they are not enough- fear.
But then when I ask them to look back on the successes they have experienced in their lives and to list the strengths that brought them to this success, the answer is often very interesting. More often than not, the strengths that they list are exactly what they need to overcome the fears that they are experiencing. But, in that moment, they are not able to see it. Their fear is getting in the way of their strengths. When I get them to ponder this, they often laugh- admittedly, I do too. But not out of judgement- out of joy that they realize that they already have what they need. It was just in a blind spot that they needed a little help to see.
Fear can be so debilitating to us. It can stop us from pursuing some of our most incredible dreams. But here is my encouragement to you today. Instead of loathing fear and letting it stop you in your tracks, what if you befriended fear? Stay with me, I know this sounds counter intuitive. But all fear is really trying to do is protect us; protect us from some unknown, potentially harmful outcome- notice I said potentially. In reality, fear is just a messenger, and if you befriend fear, then you can find out what that message is. Even more powerfully, when you befriend fear, you disarm fear. Now fear can’t control you anymore.
So you see, it isn’t about getting rid of fear. Fear is part of the human experience. It is a protective mechanism. But the reality is, we don’t always need every bit of protection it is offering us (unless it’s telling you something like, ‘don’t go into that cave, you could get eaten by a bear’).
So when you feel that fear, take a moment and sit with it. Treat fear like an old friend who has come to see you. Welcome fear in. Say, “Hello fear, nice of you to drop by today. What is it that you need to tell me?” Sit in silence and let fear’s message come to you. Then say to fear, " Thank you for coming. I’ve got this and everything is going to be ok.” Then see fear out the door and breathe and let it go. And then all that’s left to do is take that next step that you have been avoiding because of fear. Now, you are back in the driver’s seat, equipped with those strengths that have already gotten you this far.
So, while we are grateful to fear for trying to protect us, we can’t let it stop us. There is simply too much wonderful life to live for yourself and everyone that you will serve. So get to it, make friends with fear, get in the driver’s seat, strap on your seat belt and enjoy the incredible ride!
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